


You're My Mission

by LongIntervalsOfHorribleSanity



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: M/M, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Pre-Civil War (Marvel), Sad Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-31
Updated: 2015-12-31
Packaged: 2018-05-10 17:36:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5594953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LongIntervalsOfHorribleSanity/pseuds/LongIntervalsOfHorribleSanity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve misses his Bucky with everything in him. Steve needs Bucky with every bone in his body, yet he knows that'sthe one thing he can't have. Bucky</p>
            </blockquote>





	You're My Mission

Everyday Steve missed him. Each day he’d been out of the ice and knew he wasn’t there to hold him as he slept. Each day he knew in his head that Bucky was no longer there, but his heart couldn’t handle it. That’s why he tortures himself by going to look at his exhibit in the Smithsonian. He could see Bucky move that way. Pretend for a moment that Bucky was still there.

He had slowly got used to sleeping without him pressed up to his back. He missed the feeling over the boy’s heart beat against his back, his hands wrapped around his chest holding him close.

He had slowly but surely got used to the idea that Bucky had died. It took him over 70 years-admittedly most of that was spent in ice- but he had accepted it.

That’s why the bridge traumatised him. Everything was dug back up. Bucky. His breath. His heartbeat. His hair pasted to his forehead after a long day of work. His muscular body able to pick Steve up like he was nothing. Yet his best friend, his soulmate, his lover, the man he always wanted, the only one for him, was coming to his throat with a knife.

Even though Bucky didn’t kill him, he did so enough mentally. Steve knew he had to keep going. He made it through the helicarrier without breaking down in tears and just collapsing into Bucky. But he couldn’t hurt the man who’d spent so much of their time together protecting him.

He spent days, weeks, months afterwards missing him. Bucky was everywhere, tormenting him, destroying him. The memory of him tearing him up. The other avengers were worried.

Steve wasn’t sleeping. Living off too much coffee. The bags under his eyes grew and grew. He worked out more, trying to shake the feeling. No matter what he couldn’t get rid of this thing growing inside of him, needing Bucky back more than anything.

Steve’s in the middle of putting on another movie in his lounge area when he hears a knock on the window, walking over, he sees the man who just over a month ago had his hands to his throat, and who just over 70 years ago had his hands around his chest.

“Steve.” He says, and that’s when Steve starts crying.

“Your name is Steve and I love you.”

This doesn’t help Steve one bit in the whole crying situation. Bucky walks over, looking like he did one the day he fell. Except one arm was metal. He wraps his arms around him, holding Steve close as he cries.

“I remember you. Your mother was Sara, you draw, you wore tights. You saved my life.”

“And I saw you die.” Steve chokes out.

“Well, how am I still alive?” He asks.

Steve just shakes his head, leaning more into Bucky. Bucky’s hand is stroking his back, his hair, holding him close. Steve knew this wouldn’t last, but in this moment he had Bucky, his Bucky back, not some brainwashed soldier.

Steve pulls away from the hug, and looks up at Bucky.

“You’re here.” Steve says.

“And you let me in.” Bucky says, wiping away the tears from Steve’s cheek. His hand lingers there; Steve pulls Bucky so he’s sitting on his lap. They just look at each other, trying to memorise how they feel, how the look. Everything about each other.

Steve’s already got it memorised, yet he needs it new. He needs it fresh.

“You look like you haven’t slept in days.” Bucky says, running a finger along Steve’s bags.

“Since the helicarrier, I’ve barely been able to do anything without thinking of you. Without needing you.”

Bucky pulls Steve closer.

“I’m so sorry I’ve hurt you.” He mumbles into Steve’s hair.

They sit like that for a while. Just holding each other. Being there, with each other.

“Bucky?”

“Yes, Steve.”

At that Steve took a deep shaky breath. To be able to say Bucky’s name and have Bucky reply was, it was something he hadn’t felt this intensely for so long.

“Do you wanna watch a movie?”

“And cuddle?” Bucky replies

“Of course.”

Bucky nods, and Steve stands up, taking Bucky’s hand and leading him to the couch.

They sit down, watching the movie, and Steve ends up falling asleep in Bucky’s arms.

Bucky picks Steve up, carrying him bed. After tucking him in and giving him a kiss on the forehead, Bucky sits on the edge of the bed, running his fingers through Steve’s hair, over Steve’s body, trying to memorise how he feels.

Bucky knows he can’t lie down. He can’t hold Steve close how he wants to. If he does, he’ll never leave, and if he doesn’t need, he’ll get found. If he gets found everything goes again. He can’t have that. Bucky would rather die than go through that again.

He stands up, giving Steve a lingering kiss, he sneaks out into the night.

Steve wakes up the next morning after the best sleep he’s had since the helicarrier, since he got out of the ice. He knew Bucky couldn’t stay, yet he still wanted to wake up with Bucky’s arms wrapped around him. He still wanted to roll over and see Bucky’s face against the pillow. He wanted to see Bucky everyday, each morning. No matter how much Steve knew he couldn’t, the need was impossible to shake.

This bought out something in Steve, this need for Bucky. Steve knew that even if it took the rest of his days, he had to find Bucky. It might’ve been Bucky’s mission to kill Steve, but Steve’s mission was to rescue Bucky.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> This is set in between The Winter Soldier and Age of Ultron, so Steve hasn't done anything since really.   
> Thanks for reading :)


End file.
